New team, new style. Pretty much new me.
Posts: 1,125
Team/Rider Name: QUARTZ BONES (Leader)
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Post by Ness on Mar 15, 2013 17:49:40 GMT -5
And with the story, it holds a lot of potential. There'd have to be more, of course, lol.
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Freedom is the oxygen of the soul!
Posts: 42
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Post by Tamoy (kg) on Mar 17, 2013 12:03:37 GMT -5
I agree with Matt. Nice way to express yourself through writing! The only advice I have for you is to paragraph/space out your writing. ESPECIALLY when the day in your story moves on. You went from school times with Mr.Bole to 8:00pm at night alongside Emily without properly making it clear that you've now fast-forwarded the day to that time. If spacing was included in that section, then your writing presentation would be more effective. The spacing might not be your mistake because I'm thinking that's how posts appear on threads but if you can, space out the work so its easier and clear to read. Other then that, Great Job. I really like how in the end, Emily just throws you straight back into the world of rollerblading. Keep it up -Tamoy(Kg)
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I died once or twice.
Posts: 551
Team/Rider Name: None yet.
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Post by M on Mar 19, 2013 23:52:05 GMT -5
For the record, I was only trying to help. Personally, I do think grammar is a fairly big deal, but if what I did is considered offensive, them no problem - Won't do it again. Also for the record, what you did wasn't offensive, or at least it shouldn't have been. XD You went through the trouble of correcting some of his grammatical issues as a favor. Fuck, if anything you should be thanked. lulz :3 Anyway! All in all, the story's alright. Not my cup of tea, personally. But that is just how I feel, don't let me discourage you. All criticism is good criticism. Period. You can either drop the ego and observe the real message that people are trying to relay. Also, this thread may be either locked or modified. Fanfiction is a pretty sketchy thing. Although this isn't Air Gear related it is a bit misleading, since it's not actually PWN's story, ya know?
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New team, new style. Pretty much new me.
Posts: 1,125
Team/Rider Name: QUARTZ BONES (Leader)
Rank-up Points: 0
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
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Post by Ness on Mar 20, 2013 15:29:34 GMT -5
Hmm.. that is true... suppose that it's renamed PWN fanfiction?
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red dagon clan leader
Posts: 69
Team/Rider Name: red dragon clan
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Post by storm on Mar 20, 2013 17:16:29 GMT -5
I’ll give you a present if you do. Can i edit this out
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Meh. I'm back :P
Posts: 105
Team/Rider Name: Z
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Post by Zander (Z) on Mar 20, 2013 17:47:27 GMT -5
This is a little late, but I do apologize for any misunderstanding from my side of the argument. It was not my intention at all to hurt anyone's feelings, but to just state my opinion of the topic. I know I can sound rude at times. I have been told that. But the majority of the time, it's never my intention to let feelings get involved during a discussion, but only to get my point across a subject that's debatable and to understand everyone's POV on the subject-matter. And please, if you would like to have a debate with me on grammar, rich or poor people (totally random subject lol), etc., you are always free to message me about any subject and we can gladly debate on, if that is ever any of your guy's intention. I also apologize for not being as involved with Partswar as I probably should, but I guarantee you that exciting things will happen soon, with Yaga and me. I still need to get into contact with him, but during the meantime, I'm going to be doing some more practicing and looking around our territories. I hope you guys understand from where I'm coming from ;D
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Post by Kaori (Kaos) on Mar 20, 2013 17:47:58 GMT -5
damnall this over one chapter like wow
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2013 21:53:49 GMT -5
This is a little late, but I do apologize for any misunderstanding from my side of the argument. It was not my intention at all to hurt anyone's feelings, but to just state my opinion of the topic. I know I can sound rude at times. I have been told that. But the majority of the time, it's never my intention to let feelings get involved during a discussion, but only to get my point across a subject that's debatable and to understand everyone's POV on the subject-matter. And please, if you would like to have a debate with me on grammar, rich or poor people (totally random subject lol), etc., you are always free to message me about any subject and we can gladly debate on, if that is ever any of your guy's intention. I also apologize for not being as involved with Partswar as I probably should, but I guarantee you that exciting things will happen soon, with Yaga and me. I still need to get into contact with him, but during the meantime, I'm going to be doing some more practicing and looking around our territories. I hope you guys understand from where I'm coming from ;D yea i understand from your point of view i know i was acting rude to but it was just from trying to understand your text format
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Post by Jacob (sin13j) on Mar 26, 2013 16:45:42 GMT -5
i do thank you for the coments and i didnt take offense to it. Im always happy for some one to criteck my work you cant fix what you dont know is broken so thank you
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Meh. I'm back :P
Posts: 105
Team/Rider Name: Z
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Post by Zander (Z) on Mar 28, 2013 18:05:31 GMT -5
You're welcome, sir. And please, if you want any help for your fanfics and revisions, feel free to message me so I can give you some tips to make your stories even better. I can be a nice guy like that ;D
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